Love, Lindsay
by The Normal Twit
Summary: Lindsay decides to write letters, mailing them to all of her Total Drama competitors offering fashion tips! She even decides to surprise the contestants because a day after the letters, she go and visit them, and give them a make-over, THEN evenutally Chris and Chef see this and film Lindsay, trying to turn this into there newest reality show.
1. Chapter 1

Love, Lindsay:

Summary: Lindsay decides to write letters, mailing them to all of her Total Drama competitors offering fashion tips! She even decides to surprise the contestants because a day after the letters, she go and visit them, and give them a make-over, THEN Chris and Chef see this and film Lindsay, trying to turn this into there newest reality show.

Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama or it's characters.

* * *

Lindsay marvelled at what she held in her hand, though it was only a piece of possibly blank paper, she was grinning from ear to ear. Currently, she was sitting down, trying to find a magazine advert on TV, preferably starring her. Then she got bored, and an advert sparked an idea in her head. "Okay, so I'll send a letter to everyone contestant advising them on fashion tips, I'll start with, hmm, Jalapeno!" She smirked and rubbed her hands, together "This'll be nice." Lindsay got out a pen and started scribbling down words at such a fast pace, though her hand writing was still extremely neat.

_Dear Jalapeno, I regret to inform you of your appalling fashion choices, like, appalling means rubbish, Right? But like anyway, seriously, Jalapeno? Red? Only Tyler can pull that off, and are you him? Ahem, are you? _

_..._

_..._

_Last time I checked, your not. Your looks are not fashion, you may have been like blush-worthy, but that's cause of your uhm, plastic surgery, at first I didn't believe Hannah, but then Beth explained she was correct, because you apparently had plastic surgery before that season, but it was a real brain stumper, and I got a migraine after figuring it out because...it went well! When has that happened? Like, never, just in case you didn't realize._

_Plus, why do you have two watches on both hands? Jalapeno, if you can't tell the time, you can ALWAYS ask me, if I remember it. And black on black on black? Triple ew, plus, those tap dancing shoes are like so old._

_Oooh, and your hair, like, what conditioner do you use, it's so wavy and girl-like! Just what I need!_

_Love, Lindsay_

"Hmm, I have some spare time, maybe I could right one about that Az Maria?" Lindsay thought, "Yeah!" She grinned, rushing off, and returning a few moments later, with paper in hand. She began writing again.

_Dear Az Maria, you're fashion are making me tear up, I mean, I am like sooo conflicted, purple is a great colour, but skin? So, last year, and those hoop earrings, are they like retro, like did you're mom given them to you? If so, don't ever take fashion advice from her again, because those earrings are ugly! No offence. Like, your belt is cool too!_

_Okay, so those pants, did you put them on as a joke and then you found that they were permanently stuck to your legs? No shame in admitting it, it happens to fat people. Also, those pants bring down what you have worked so hard for: Fashion perfection, they like ruin you're look and make me puke, but I mean this in the nicest way possible._

_Oh, yeah and your shoes, like black and purple, it's a really sad color, I mean, sometimes it looks good, but the black just fades away, and black should NEVER fade away, so your shoes are also making you're look worse._

_Hope you liked the letter, _

_Love Lindsay._

* * *

Days later, Alejandro opened his mail box, letters poured out, "Fain-mail. Always a delight." He saw one with large scribbles on it, and opened it. "Ah, Lindsay, must be complimenting my...PLASTIC SURGERY?!" Alejandro was a gape. "Heather?! Beth? I never talked to her!" Alejandro read on, "I can tell the time!" He insisted. Alejandro continued to read on and looked down at his shoes, "They don't look old, woah?! Wavy and girly?!" Alejandro ripped up the letter, "I don't need this!" Alejandro snarled. "Maybe, I should write a reply."

Alejandro nodded and walked into his house got out his laptop and began typing. "Who uses paper anymore?" He snorted.

_Dear Lindsay,_

_I have received your letter, and with the utmost highest regard to you, you're analysing of my looks causes rifts with me, I would like to call you numerous bad names, and insult you, however being honourable, I choose not so seize the opportunity, and I hope you appreciate this decision._

Alejandro stopped, "To nice."

_Please see below my "original" draft, containing profanity, insults and more!_

Alejandro typed, and typed, when he was done he went and sent it. "Yes!" He heard a beep, "Sent to...Ann Maria and Lindsay? What?! How?" Alejandro gasped, scrambling for a way to delete the message. "Wait, maybe she'll realize it was meant for Lindsay."

* * *

Ann Maria was reading an email from Lindsay, when she was notified of another. "Oh! Another?! Hope this time it ain't hate-mail!" Ann Maria gasped, "FAT? FAT?!" Ann Maria screamed, "She best get her eye-sight checked! She wrong! She wrong! She wrong!"

Ann Maria clicked onto the other email, "Wut?" Ann Maria was dumbfounded, "Is he stupid? Do I look like a dumb blonde, or maybe he mistook blondie for me?! He probably did!" Ann Maria scrolled down, seeing the profanities her eyes widened. "Oh! They are asking for it now!"

* * *

Lindsay checked her emails, she currently clicked onto Alejandro's. "Hmm. Aw, he wants to call me?" Lindsay shook her head, "Oh, I am with Tyler. He should really know this." Lindsay scrolled down, she gasped. "Like, rude!" Lindsay gasped, "Maybe he doesn't understand my letter! I should visit him...and give him a make-over!" Lindsay cheered.

Lindsay heard knocks at the door, she rushed to it and opened it, seeing an angry Alejandro, she squealed and dragged him in, shutting the door behind her. "I can give you a make-over without even going over to your house!"

Alejandro's eyes widened. "What?"

When the make-over concluded, Alejandro didn't dare look in the mirror, he just walked out of Lindsay house and rubbed off anything she had applied on him. Lindsay snapped her fingers. "He didn't even enjoy it!" She shrieked, "Better luck next time." Lindsay grinned, "Next time. I could do this with everyone else! I'll just ask, ask, Sienna?"

Lindsay hopped onto her computer again, not knowing how much chaos this would actually cause.


	2. Chapter 2

Love, Lindsay:

Summary: Lindsay decides to write letters, mailing them to all of her Total Drama competitors offering fashion tips! She even decides to surprise the contestants because a day after the letters, she go and visit them, and give them a make-over, THEN Chris and Chef see this and film Lindsay, trying to turn this into there newest reality show.

Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama or it's characters.

* * *

"Calling me fat." Grumbled Ann Maria, who was currently on a plane looking out of the window. "I'm proving that little witch wrong!" She hissed, "You best be watchin' out blondie, YOU BEST BE!"

Ann Maria gasped, "Beverly! He's next!" Ann Maria typed on her phone quickly, "Sent!" A grin was traced on her face. "WAIT!" She shrieked, "HE NEEDS ONE!" Ann Maria remembered, "DELETE!" She commanded, stating it various times more. "Ahh! Stupid phone!"

Ann Maria's phone then buzzed, she quickly looked at the message, "Ugh! No way!" Ann Maria screeched, "She ain't coming over to my house to give ME a make-over, it's the other way around! She's really messed in the head!" Ann Maria typed a reply, before throwing her phone out of the window, "THAT WASN'T MY FAULT!" Ann Maria yelled at the staff, who were clearly considering getting her off of the plane.

Lindsay was scribbling on a new piece of paper, "Okay," She smiled, "Finished!" Lindsay cheered, "Now to read it aloud!" Lindsay was extremely happy, she was squealing with such delight.

_Dear B, _

_What kind of name is B? Like, who is A? Have you seen C? Can they take me through the alphabet? I struggle, I know, hard to believe, in TDA, I was like so smart! I know, but we are clearly getting off topic._

_I am like talking to you about your possibly ugly fashion sense, so let me begin. Where is your voice? Oh, no wait..._

_..._

_Oh, yeah! Fashion! Eee! Seriously, what is up with you're name, like B? B? What's your last name? Everly? Which would make B-Everly. Wait, "evilly", you are evil! That Scalp guy was right! No wait, his name was Scott and he looked ugly, he cannot have been right!_

_But anyway, why do you wear like layers? You don't live in that cold dessert place. DO YOU?! Also, those blue shorts? Like, blue is for the sky, not you, plus, red, and blue together, along with some black? Like, are you SURE your sixteen? I mean you've lost your voice, (Don't worry, once I lost like this small ring thingy, and then everyone was crying and then we had to leave, at the time, I didn't know it was a wedding, but I do now!) Plus, you clearly have no sense of color, are you like colour blind? _

_We need to get like, someone awesome, me! Oh, wait, we already have! I am really gonna help you. I am. Don't worry, you won't get teased about you being so forgetful you lost your voice, or being so colour blind, you don't know what clothes colours go with others! _

_PS: I am SO flying out to your house, Sienna told me you lived in a house. So, I'll be able to find wherever it is. She didn't say what house, but Hannah weirdly helped me out and said you didn't like that far, like you live opposite the mall! Like, ugh! That should be me!_

_Also, cause you are good with technology, can you check if someone like put a chip in Hannah's brain to make her nicer? Because I've had my suspicious and yet no one seems to believe, how rude! I am just as smart as everyone else. Tyler said so!_

Lindsay looked at her text, which she had just received. "Hmm, well," Lindsay squinted, "She is getting a make-over from me! I'll set up some traps! And voila! Then she won't be able to move, and then I can give her a make-over!"

Lindsay stopped. "Is that mean?" She proceeded to shake her head, "It is in the name of fashion. Of course not!" Lindsay then walked towards the local post office, which was conveniently B's house. "I can mail the letter and visit Beverly!" Lindsay gasped, "His name is Beverly!"

Eventually, Lindsay managed to post the letter, and she was soon knocking on B's door, B answered after a while of knocking.

"HI!" Lindsay said loudly, B gave no reply, but stepped aside, gesturing Lindsay in, she walked in. "So, your fashion is appalling, and I'll give a make-ov-AHHH!" Lindsay screamed as she stepped into B's trap, she was now in the air hanging up side down, she started to wail, loudly. "Fine! Fine! I won't give you a make-over, but how did you know, I was going to?!"

B opened his laptop, and pointed to what was screen, Ann Maria had recently sent him an email, just before she had sent Lindsay the text. Lindsay wailed louder. "I hate her! Well, can you help me give her a make-over, like set up traps?" She asked.

B shook his head.

Lindsay sobbed, "This day is like not going good!" She wiped the tears from her eyes and wriggled to get free, eventually, she fell down, a bump on her head, she screamed as she felt it. "EW! EW!"

B's mouth was wide open, he stuck his thumb up.

"YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT!" She shouted at him, "And you like have a horrible sense of what looks good anyway. I mean that in the nicest way possible." She took a pause from her crying to tell him so. "SO I MUST LOOK HORRIBLE!" She quickly resumed her crying.

B scribbled something down on a paper and showed it to Lindsay. "You'll help me give Anne Mari...hmm...Ann Mari...a? A make over!" Lindsay clapped, "Let's go to my house and start!"

Suddenly a letter came through the post, B opened it, "That's from me!" Lindsay realized, B's expression changed many times as he read it, he crumbled up the paper, and shrugged, walking out.

Lindsay sighed, looking at her letter, before following. "Must not have taken a liking to my words, which weren't bad, I tried to be smart!"


	3. Chapter 3

Love, Lindsay

Chapter 03: Oh, Lindsay!

* * *

Lindsay sighed. "I forgot someone!" The realization caused her to tear up, as she sat her computer. "Hmph! Whatever shall I do B-Evilly?" B stood beside her, he shook his head. "Will I have to cancel the make-over thing?"

B nodded.

Lindsay wailed, "Now how will my fashion sense help everyone!" B tapped Lindsay, and pointed to the computer. She shrieked, "Yay-sies! I can still write letters! Hmph, so I forgot someone? Called Amy?"

Lindsay turned to B once again, "What does she look like?" B pointed to the computer, "Oh! Duh!" Lindsay typed and eventually after buying two freezers, Amy's image came up. "Ew," Lindsay cringed. "I can so write a lot of words on this...atrocity!"

_Dear Amelia, _

_Long white boots? Slow down! Like, according to all the fashion sites in the world those are for the future in like a gazillion years when we are NOT going to be all wrinkly because of boob jobs and surgery. _

_In my opinion, white boots are drab, and your blonde hair is _looking _lacking_?_ in colour. Like, now my beach blonde hair and colourful antenna make it very good, so everyone can see it! But the only thing that pops is your mole and your maroon outfit. Also, like cheer-leading?_

_Naturally the way you styled you hair is just like the best thing ever, but seriously, like ew, a belly button? So much skin! So little clothes, how can I judge if not much is covered? But I really like your maroon skirt! Like eee! That colour sometimes can leak, so its no shame that you want it as a skirt. So, Angelina, change your top please._

_Like, colour coordination isn't a thing anymore, it just needs to look beautiful, and I know you probably, maybe, next year could if you just make a few minor changes. Now, I have another question? Why did you like clone yourself, with the exact same clothes, talk about copier. Gosh! I am sorry for your clone being so rude and having no distinct sense of style._

_So, Angel, I hope you take this letter on board! And tell your clone that she needs to get her own style, hey maybe she could be better than you if she wanted to be! And so, just in case you forgot my name you can search me up! I am the pretty one! _

_Love, Lindsay._

"What do you think?" She asked B expectantly, B read it and face-palmed. "Hmm?" B began writing his own letter underneath hers, Lindsay stopped him and stared at him intently in the eye. "Like, no offence, but it says Lindsay, now I know I am Admiral Lindsay her hotness. Do you remember your name?" Lindsay asked, speaking slowly so B could understand.

B nodded and relented and let Lindsay have control of the computer.

"Oooh, what did you write!" Lindsay was continuously bubbly as she read what B wrote, "Wait, she has a ti-win?" B quickly typed, and Lindsay gasped, "She HAS a twin?! Ooh, is that the clone?" B nodded, "Oh, oops. I'll write one for the twin! Who's name is..." Lindsay browsed 'Total Drama Twins', "Sally? Aww, that's a pretty name."

_Hi, other twin! _

_Okay, so I sent your sister a letter about her fashion! Now I have a lot to say about yours, like those white boots are so fab! And no mole? Yay, you've already gotten some mole remover cream! I've heard it works, you should get your sister some! The red...the skirt is okay, and the top is just as bad as your sisters. But since you smile like all the time in pictures and your sister looks grumpy._

_I'd say that you would be the one to listen to me!_

_Love, Lindsay,_

* * *

"Spare-mey!" Amy cried, "Is this a JOKE?" On her computer, Amy was scanning through Lindsay's letter. Samey slowly walked towards Amy, "WHERE is my latte?!" She cried.

Samey glared at Amy. "Get it yourself!" Amy mimicked this, "So, what does it say? Who's it from?" Amy turned to Samey and got up and then slapped her, Samey did the same in return.

"Wait, is that MY email?" Samey realized, she kicked Amy in the face and sat on the computer chair. "Other twin?" Samey sighed, ignoring Amy's cackle in the background. "Fab white boobs," Samey began to smile, she giggled. "Love, Lindsay?" She finished, "Lindsay...Lindsay, ooh, she is pretty, so she must know-OW!" Amy shoved Samey off of the computer.

"How can she compliment YOUR white boots! They are all mine! Mine! Mine!" Amy logged onto her email, she beamed. "Yes, see Spare-mey, my message is WAY longer!" She boasted, Amy read it and gasped.

"What does it say?"

"SHE IS SO WRONG!" Amy yelled, letting out a hiss and a growl.

* * *

"Ooh, a reply from Alison!" B gave up correcting Lindsay, "I always get quick replies! Yes! Hmm, what does... loquackious mean?" B scanned the contents of the letter.

_Dear Lindsay,_

_you suck at being loquacious about fashion and you are so wrong! _

_From Amy_

_Lamey likes you, I don't know why._

_Grow wrinkles and get fat, Lindsay._

"You know...I never want to get fat!" Lindsay was close to tears, "Big boned maybe! But not fat!" Lindsay hyperventilated, "Why would she wish someone to grow wrinkles?"

B pat Lindsay on the back, struggling to hold in the laughter.

"It's not funny!" Lindsay insisted, "This girl needs a personality make-over! She might be more mean than Justin and Hannah! Combined!" Lindsay was clearly exasperated, her arms in the air for extra effect. "Who's next? Hmm Bee's-air-dough?" Lindsay clapped her hands. "He sounds nice...yay!"

B got up.

Lindsay clutched his arm. "B! Don't leave like yet!"

B walked out.

Lindsay pouted. "Well, then! Bye!" Lindsay sighed, "Hmm...oooh! A reply from Sally!" Lindsay typed, and then the computer turned off. She touched, and poked it and yet it still would not come on, so she would have to wait another day to reply and critique someone elses fashion sense...


End file.
